A Silly Thing Called Love
by Blissfully Delirious
Summary: Remus finds himself in love with Sirius and trying really hard not to be. Only problem is, his wolf wants nothing more than to throw Sirius to the floor and, well. What's a boy to do? And what sort of wake up call does Lily have in mind for Sirius? RLxSB
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi, all. Welcome, welcome. Before you start, know that this is a slash fic (i.e. lots of boy-on-boy goodness). No like-y, no read-y. If you do like-y, then by all means read and enjoy…**

A Silly Thing Called Love—Chapter One

Remus stretched himself along the length of his bed, a volume of Arithmancy propped open in his hands. The Gryffindor dormitory was silent—the older students having left for Hogsmeade and the younger ones scampering about outdoors. It was, after all, a beautiful October afternoon.

Remus could see the clear blue sky from where he lay, imagined the taste of the crisp autumn air. James and Peter and Sirius had certainly scoured the shelves of Honeydukes already and were happily devouring bags of chocolate frogs, licorice wands, and toffee, perhaps sitting down to a round of butterbeers and fiddling with whatever they'd purchased from Zonko's.

They had fought tooth and nail with Remus over his choosing to stay behind, threatening to cast a Body-Bind on him and then carry him down to Hogsmeade. Remus had warned that, should they do so, they would find themselves dealing with a very pissed off werewolf when the Bind wore off. Wisely, they had let the matter drop, choosing instead to sulk about the dorm casting injured looks in his direction.

Remus had ignored their pleading stares and had, in fact, seen them cheerfully off earlier that morning.

He flipped through several pages, narrowed his eyes at the complex equations, frowned, and tossed the book aside. It was the weekend, after all—and studying had only been his excuse for staying behind, not his actual reason.

No, _that_ came wrapped up in the dark-haired, grey-eyed package of one Sirius Black. Or, more to the point, Remus's sudden shift-of-feelings towards said package. A shift he'd hoped was nothing more than a passing fancy, but which ultimately proved a permanent addition.

He was attracted to Sirius—and he could live with that.

A teenaged boy was privy to his occasional infatuation, after all. And Remus had had his share like everyone else.

Attraction he could handle. What worried him was the whispering of something _more_ at the back of his mind. A phantom promise of something he could not afford. Sirius was his friend. He did not want to lose that friendship on account of feelings that promised only to tear him apart.

Sirius could not return his feelings. Remus accepted this. So he would do what was necessary to cleanse his system of his infatuation, and if that meant avoiding Sirius's company for as long as necessary he would. Sirius meant too much to him to lose on account of a silly thing like love.

Hence Remus's adamant refusal to join his friends for a lively day of frolicking in Hogsmeade. Being in such close quarters with Sirius for such a length of time would ultimately prove detrimental to Remus's iron will, especially when Sirius was likely to become sloshed on nicked firewhiskey and, subsequently, feel the need to drape himself over whatever sturdy body was nearest at hand. Remus, for some ill-conceived reason, seemed always to be nearest at hand. The last thing he needed was the object of his desire wrapped around his neck breathing nonsense against his cheek—no wait.

The _actual_ last thing he needed was for his wolf to become enticed by the spicy scent of Sirius's skin which would, with a certainty that truly frightened Remus, cause him to do unspeakable things to his best friend within view of the general public.

Until he had his attraction successfully quelled and his wolf securely under lock and key, Remus planned to put as much distance between himself and Sirius as was physically possible without being too painfully obvious. Which meant very little distance would actually be achieved since he, Peter, James, and Sirius were notoriously inseparable—especially himself and Sirius, as of late.

With James quite literally fawning over Lily (who had finally said 'Yes.') and Peter spending more and more time with some 'secret friend' of his, it was only natural that Remus and Sirius had grown closer over the past few months.

For six years it had always been James and Sirius who were closest, so much alike as they were. Remus had always been the quiet one, the one who tempered their wiliness, who preached caution when that spark of mischievousness alighted their eyes. Not that he wanted for their attention. As with Peter, they took pains to include him in their scheming. He had a cleverness that had initially surprised them, and a charm with the professors that often kept James and Sirius from being caught.

In fifth year, for instance, James and Sirius somehow got it into their heads that it would be "bloody awesome" to spell all of the furniture in Professor McGonagall's classroom to the ceiling—with the hitch that whoever tried to reverse the spell would be doused with a Bat-Bogey hex. When McGonagall walked in on the four of them in the act Remus had stepped forward and claimed sole responsibility, citing an overenthusiastic attempt at levitation. James, Sirius, and Peter had only been trying to help him reverse it, he'd said. Unable to prove otherwise McGonagall had dismissed them. Luckily for her they hadn't yet cast the hex.

As it happened, James had been the object of Remus's teenaged infatuation that year and after that very close call with McGonagall, Remus had seen his chance to tactfully distance himself from James without raising any eyebrows.

Why not stir up a really fantastic prank for end of the year, he'd suggested. Something that will be talked about for years to come. James and Sirius had practically drooled at the thought, shutting themselves away for hours at a time scouring their minds for just the right idea. It took them months, and by the time they had their idea and called Remus and Peter back into the think-tank, Remus's infatuation had passed.

He had experienced a similar situation in fourth year, when it had been Lily who had caught his eye.

Unlike James, Remus had always gotten along rather well with prim-and-proper Lily Evans—although their friendship was strained at times due to James's relentless pursuit to impress her.

His recovery from _that_ infatuation was easier, seeing as just weeks after returning from Christmas break James made quite the ass of himself and humiliated Lily in front of a rather large group of students. She avoided him for nearly two months alongside Remus, Sirius, and Peter. By the time she started speaking to him again, Remus had reverted to loving her merely as a friend.

So. That was what he needed to do. Distance himself from Sirius. A few months and this silly crush would be over and he could move on.

But how to avoid Sirius without raising eyebrows, or causing insult? After all, they had fallen into something of a pattern as of late: eating together (since James and Peter had become noticeably absent at meals), studying together in the common room between and after classes (Sirius's grades were starting to improve), pulling a few pranks on their own (Snape would be combing thick wads of grease from his hair for weeks), even flying around the Quidditch field at night.

James and Peter were still around, of course. The four of them still spent an inordinate amount of time together. A herd of raging hippogriffs couldn't tear them apart. They were, and always would be, first and foremost Marauders.

But over the past few months Remus had sensed from Sirius a growing dependence on their deepening friendship. Was Sirius simply looking to him to replace James? No, that was unfair. Remus knew without doubt that Sirius's affection was sincere.

And that was the problem.

Sirius had grown accustomed to Remus always being there to "hang out." What would happen if Remus suddenly pulled away? There was no way to go about distancing himself from Sirius without raising a red flag. Sure, he could plead illness or the need to study…but for how long? Eventually Sirius was going to pick up on the fact that Remus was trying to avoid him and _that_ would open up a whole other can of worms.

Sirius would demand to know why, and he would be entitled to an explanation. But what could Remus say? _My apologies, Padfoot. I'm afraid that I can no longer be alone in a room with you because when I am, I can't guarantee that I won't jump you and shag you into the carpet._

Oh, yes. That would go over just swell.

Remus sighed, moving to sit by the window.

A group of students was playing a makeshift game of Quidditch, laughing and shouting out jesting obscenities. Nearer the lake, another group was engaged in a game of muggle football: boys against girls. Other students strolled lazily around the grounds, or sat in small clusters beneath the warming sun. James, Sirius, and Peter were by now testing out their latest Zonko's purchase on some poor, unsuspecting soul. Sirius was certainly tipsy, and likely quickly on the way to becoming all-out smashed. By dusk, James and Peter would be hauling him up the steps to their dorm room, McGonagall's shrill reprimands following them each step of the way.

It would fall to Remus to get him changed and in bed, James and Peter washing their hands of him the moment he hit the bed. Sirius would babble drunken nonsense, curling up against Remus as he wiped a cold cloth across his brow.

Sirius was what James referred to as a "sappy drunk." He never lost his head, never got nasty or stupid, but rather became nauseatingly sentimental and in need of cuddling, whereby he would spout such prose as to make Shakespeare nauseas. In the morning he would awake with a wicked hangover, a short temper, and no memory whatsoever of the babbling romantic he'd been the night before.

James found it entirely amusing, savoring the flush of Sirius's cheeks when he repeated his schmaltzy gibberish back at him word for word. Sirius usually retaliated with a snide remark. Then James. And within minutes the pair was wrestling about on the floor hurling obscenities at each other. The skirmish almost always ended with Remus casting a Body-Bind on the both of them and hauling them under a cold shower to cool off.

It was their final year at Hogwarts, Remus mused, and he did not want to spend it avoiding Sirius over a silly thing like a teenaged crush. He was an intelligent boy. Certainly, he could rationalize himself out of this infatuation—convince himself both consciously and subconsciously that all he felt for Sirius was friendship.

How hard could it be? Mind over body and all that other psychological mumbo-jumbo. Right. Perhaps with anyone else it would be as easy as simply telling yourself that you are not attracted to such-and-such. But when it came to Sirius Black, nothing was ever simple nor easy.

Sirius was unequivocally attractive. There was no getting around that. Even those people who despised him (namely ratty little Slytherins) could be caught ogling his Adonis-like features. The Lestrange brothers, in fact, had developed a habit—which Remus assumed was entirely subconscious—of staring at Sirius's backside whenever he walked past them. And they were not the only ones. Sirius's reputation as a playboy was not entirely unfounded.

So. Step One: accept Sirius's attractiveness as a matter of fact and nothing more. Not too impossible a suggestion. Remus had, after all, done just that when James had been the obstacle. But then, his infatuation with James had been purely physical while with Sirius there was an itching of something _more_.

Which brought him to Step Two: forget all notions of Sirius returning his feelings and banish all thoughts to the contrary. Sirius was his friend. Period.

Remus needed to nip this infatuation in bud _now_, before it blossomed out of his control. He refused to lose his friendship with Sirius because his heart got the better of him. He could not afford to fall in love with Sirius Black. To do so only spelled disaster.

Step Three: find some excuse to not be alone with Sirius for any decent length of time. This would prove to be the hardest step. How does one go about neglecting his friend's company without that friend becoming ever the wiser? Was it at all possible?

Sirius, for all his blundering charm, wasn't an idiot. He would notice if Remus became suddenly distant, aloof. He would worry and when Sirius worried he hovered like a mother hen. He would pester Remus with gentle determination until Remus finally cracked under the weight of those caring grey eyes.

So. Find a way to become distant without becoming distant.

Remus laughed humorlessly. Right. Easy as pie.

Step Four: control his wolf. Easier said than done, but not impossible. Except for those three days of the full moon, Remus was generally dominant over his wolf and able, to an extent, to quell his canine urges. Sirius's spicy scent would ultimately be his undoing in this regard. It enticed his wolf to do very naughty things to Sirius's body and _that_ simply would not do.

But how to fix it? Give himself a cold? The flu? Allergies? A possibility, to be sure, but a three month cold would definitely raise a few eyebrows—especially if Remus refused to see Madam Pomfrey.

In summation: Remus was pretty much screwed.

There was no way in hell he could gain the distance he needed, for the length of time he needed, to kick this pesky infatuation. Unless he _wanted_ to hurt Sirius's feelings and possibly destroy their friendship.

It wasn't as though he could come right out and tell Sirius what the problem was. No, Remus had already established that that would be a very bad idea.

What he needed was someone to talk to. Maybe expressing his feelings and analyzing them from a rational point of view would help. But who could he talk to? James and Peter were out on principle. If he refused to be upfront with Sirius, then it was only fair he do the same for James and Peter.

Besides, if he were forced to suffer even five minutes of one of James's knowing smirks Remus was likely to do something he would later regret—like wringing James's neck.

So. No James and no Peter. Who then?

Remus frowned up at the ceiling. Who indeed. Someone he trusted not only to regard his situation with utmost severity but also someone he trusted to keep it in strictest confidence. The answer was fairly obvious and Remus wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.

Lily.

Of all people _she_ could be trusted to offer her help without making him feel like a fool.

Remus glanced outside. It was starting to get dark. Maybe she—

"Bloody effing hell, Sirius! Pick up your bloody feet! I will _not_ carry you up these steps!"

"'S okay, Jamesy. I—"

There was a loud _thud_ followed by a string of rather colorful obscenities.

With a sigh Remus crossed the room and pulled the door open.

Sirius was sprawled on the staircase looking amusedly perplexed, blinking owlishly at his legs. Peter stood several steps below glowering at Sirius and rubbing at a nasty bruise on his arm. Why did Sirius always bite when he was drunk? James stood just in front of Remus, still muttering obscenities under his breath. _He certainly has a way with words_, Remus thought dryly.

Sirius tried unsuccessfully to regain his own feet, falling back onto his backside with a disgruntled huff. Looking around the stairwell with a petulant frown he caught sight of Remus standing in the doorway. A brilliant smile alighted his face. "_Moony_!"

James spun on his heel. He glared at Remus, the beginnings of a bruise swelling his jaw. Apparently Sirius had gotten punchy as well. "Good. _You_ can deal with him. Come on, Peter."

They brushed past Remus and disappeared into the showers. The door slammed shut behind them.

Remus looked down at Sirius, who had managed somehow to slide himself up the wall and was now standing rather wobbly on the steps. He looked a bit green. With a sign of resignation Remus looped his arm around Sirius's waist and hauled him up the remaining stairs and into the dorm room, dropping him most unceremoniously onto his bed.

Sirius groaned, reaching for the nearest bin. And while he retched up God only knew how many bottles of firewhiskey, Remus tugged off his shoes and socks, his belt, his coat and button-down. When he was through he handed Sirius a glass of water and a Sleeping Draught.

Sirius groaned again, a pitiable sound, and reached up a hand toward Remus, tugging him down onto the bed.

Remus sat, far beyond the point of resignation, and allowed Sirius to curl up against him. The spicy scent of Sirius's skin assailed his senses. Sirius sighed, nuzzling against his neck.

_I give up_, Remus thought wearily, heart hammering against his chest. _I surrender. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with Sirius Black. God have mercy on me_.

"Moony?" Sirius whispered against his skin.

"What?"

Remus wiped the cold cloth over Sirius's brow. Sirius purred contentedly. Remus swallowed hard. _You'll be the death of me, Sirius Black_.

"Smell good," Sirius murmured. "Like boy."

Remus almost laughed. "Go to sleep, Sirius."

"Mm-hmm"

"I am so screwed," Remus breathed into the silence.

His fingers moved absently to brush away the hair from Sirius's face. He would be stuck there all night: Sirius's arm draped soundly over his chest, head resting against his shoulder.

_Just my luck_, he grumbled inwardly. _I fall in love with the one person I can't afford to fall in love with. Someone up top must be having a helluva laugh_.

* * *

Remus woke the next morning with Sirius's breath against his cheek and a sharp tingling down his left side. James's and Peter's beds were empty. 

Without warning his wolf suddenly reared its big furry head, flooding his system with an urge to roll Sirius over and kiss him breathless.

For a moment Remus struggled. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He controlled the wolf. The wolf did not control him. It was a mantra he anticipated using profusely over the next few months—what with his finally admitting to himself that he was in love with Sirius, not to mention his strict determination to get over it as quickly as possible.

How hard could it be? Certainly his heart had zeroed in on Sirius only because it was he with whom Remus spent most of his time. It was all a matter of proximity.

Right. And banshees tap-danced on the Minister's desk.

_Well they could_, Remus retorted indignantly—and then realized he was arguing with himself and scowled.

No, no, no, that just would not do. If he wanted to smash this love-blossom beneath his feet, since it was a bit late to nip it in the bud, than he would need to be of unarguably sound mind.

So. New plan.

Step One: no interaction whatsoever with the voice in his head. Simple enough. Hopefully.

Step Two: stop fighting it.

Most importantly of all Remus had to accept that he was, by his own admission, in love with Sirius Black. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And boy! Did Remus ever have a problem.

How did this happen? How does someone wake up one day out of the blue and realize they're in love with such-and-such? There had been no warning. No signs. Nothing. Remus had just randomly glanced at Sirius one afternoon several weeks earlier and _bam!_

It hit him like a ton of bricks. He was attracted to Sirius Black. But more than that he had felt the itching of something _more_ at the back of his mind and had realized instantly what it meant—and scrambled franticly to smash it to bits.

_I will not fall in love with Sirius_, he had repeated to himself over and over for the better part of an hour.

So much for mind over body. He had been delusional to think he could stop it. His heart had always been stronger than his mind.

So. On to Step Three: talk to someone.

Remus needed to unload. Maybe having someone to share his dismay with would help him to overcome this. Besides, he needed to talk to _someone_. There was no way in hell he could survive this by himself. Lily was clearly the best choice. He would seek her out as soon as he was able to detangle himself from Sirius.

That thought reminded Remus of the sharp tingling racing along his entire left side. Sirius wasn't exactly a light load.

He nudged the sleeping boy. Sirius groaned and snuggled closer. _Lovely_, Remus grumbled. _Just bloody lovely_. "Sirius…"

He mumbled incomprehensibly, burying his face in Remus's neck. "Five more minutes," was all Remus heard.

Remus nudged again. "Up, Padfoot."

Slowly, Sirius stirred. His eyes fluttered open drowsily. He stared up at Remus with momentary confusion, then blinked it away. He smiled lazily, rolling onto his back: no embarrassment, no mortification at finding himself wrapped around the body of his best friend. They were both old hands at this routine.

"Morning, Moony," he said through a yawn.

Remus felt the sensation returning to his left side. His skin burned with the feeling of a thousand needles jabbing at him. He glowered, and with just a touch of a sadistic amusement asked, "How's your head?"

Sirius winced, the smile fading. Sensation, it seemed, had returned to Sirius as well. Give him five minutes, Remus knew, and he would be as cranky as an agitated troll.

"Not so loud, Moony."

Remus smiled. "Had that much fun, did you?"

"Well, I guess so," Sirius groused.

"So you don't remember gnawing at Peter's arm, hm? Or taking a swing at James?"

"I did—Wait a minute." He narrowed his eyes at Remus. "You're taking the piss."

"Afraid not, my friend."

Sirius settled back to stare up at the ceiling, a frown tugging at his lips.

Remus, who had finally managed to detangle himself from Sirius, now sat looking down at him. _It should be illegal to look that good_.

Stretched across his bed in nothing but an undershirt and jeans, dark hair tussled and fanned carelessly against the pillow, Sirius looked every bit the part of a Greek god.

Not good. This was _not good_. How in the seven hells was Remus supposed to squelched this silly love thing when all he could do was picture all the very naughty things he wanted to do to Sirius's body? Things that would make even the most experienced 'working girl' blush.

Remus needed to get out of there. Now.

He started to get up when Sirius looked at him, fathomless grey eyes paralyzing him where he sat. He tried to mask his features, and knew it was a wasted effort. No one knew him better than Sirius.

Sirius's brow pinched together, an expression of worry.

Remus looked…troubled. No, it was more than that. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Nervous. Hesitant. Fearful? Of what? _Him_? No, that was silly. Why would Remus be afraid of him? But something was definitely making him skittish.

Sirius sat up. He reached out a hand to touch Remus's shoulder and felt like he'd been slapped when Remus jerked away. For his part, Remus tried to look apologetic, offering a weak, unconvincing smile.

Sirius felt a jab of hurt. What had he done?

He tried again to touch Remus, felt again the insult when he pulled away. There was a flickering of amber in Remus's eyes. The wolf was fighting for control. Sirius could see the struggle in his friend's face: the set of his jaw, the furrowing of his brow, the touch of pain in his eyes.

What was going on in that head of his? Why was his wolf clawing for the surface? The moon was barely new. It would be weeks before it was full again. Sirius began suddenly to panic. Was something _wrong_?

"Remus—"

With the quick reflexes of a wolf Remus bolted off the bed.

Distance. He needed distance. He had severely underestimated the strength of his wolf, of his wolf's desire for Sirius. He had been foolish to think he could contain it. The scent of Sirius—

He froze. He was covered in it. His clothes, his hair, his skin. He reeked of Sirius.

_Shower,_ he thought frantically. _I need to shower right now_.

Grabbing a shirt and a pair of jeans Remus fled the dorm room, leaving Sirius to stare after him baffled and hurt.

* * *

After scrubbing his skin raw under blistering hot water, Remus dressed quickly and sought out prim-and-proper Lily Evans. 

He knew precisely where to find her. It was, after all, a Sunday. And what did the Head Girl and a Gryffindor Prefect do on Sundays—much to the vexation of their friends?

Studied, of course.

Remus smiled. In fifth year, when he found himself lusting after James and mortified because of it, he had turned, like he was turning now, to Lily for guidance. She was the only non-Marauder he considered a true friend and trusted not to betray his confidence.

They would meet in the library, the one place James and Sirius refused to go anywhere near—and all on account of a bit of a mishap in third year when they'd 'accidentally' transfigured Madam Pince's quill to come alive, whereby it 'accidentally' began to pen obscene messages all over the walls and on the books and parchments of studying students.

Madam Pince had come very close to tearing them limb from limb and had restrained from doing so only because of Professor Dumbledore's presence. She had, however, threatened severe punishment should either of them step foot within the library again.

James and Sirius had read the murder in her eyes and had, for once, heeded Remus's warning and sworn off the library for good. Not that they had actually spent much time there to begin with, but nevertheless they had avoided the library like the plague ever since. And that suited Remus's needs quite nicely, thank you very much.

Remus passed a row of suits of armor. They jeered and hooted obscenely, their joints creaking as they jostled about.

Remus rolled his eyes. They were a favorite mark of Sirius's. It drove Filch batty and ruffled McGonagall's feathers every time—especially since they both _knew_ Sirius was to blame but had no proof with which to condemn him.

On the fourth floor Remus made a sharp right at the first corridor past the stairs. The library's massive double doors loomed before him.

He found Lily tucked away in a back corner. She was alone among the clustering of tables. An arched window rose up behind her, clear morning sunlight falling through the otherwise shadowed alcove. She sat with one leg curled beneath her and the other folded to her chest, a quill twirling between her fingers as she flipped through the pages of an Ancient Runes text. Her fiery hair was pulled back in a ponytail; she wore a pair of old faded jeans and tee-shirt that read **Emc²** across the front. There was a smudge of ink on her pale cheek.

Remus summoned what courage he could and crossed the small distance between them. He needed to talk about this. He needed to tell _someone_. He absolutely refused to lose Sirius on account of a silly thing like love.

So. Talk about it, dissect it, dismiss it.

Boy, did Remus sure hope it was that simple. He wasn't sure he could handle complicated.

Lily looked up as he sat down. Her dazzling smile faltered at the expression on his face, replaced by a angry frown. "What have they done now?"

Remus smiled despite himself. Leave it to Lily to assume he was there because James and Sirius had done something stupid, which, granted, was usually the case. "They haven't done anything," he said. "Not that I'm aware of, at least."

"Then why the glum mood?"

"I have a problem."

Silence.

Lily studied his face, scrutinizing. _He looks nervous_, she thought. Fidgety. There was strain around his eyes, a tightness to his jaw, a slight crinkle in his brow. Definitely nervous. But also, what? Fearful?

Lily chewed at her bottom lip. What in the world could make Remus such a nervous wreck? A flickering of amber in his eyes caught her breath. A struggle with his wolf. During a _new_ moon? There was only one reason for _that_. And that could only mean—

_Oh, no,_ she thought ruefully._ Oh, poor Remus. You truly have the worst of luck, don't you?_

"Sirius."

Remus nodded, relieved he would be spared the torture of having to explain. There were times when he adored Lily for being much too intuitive for her own good. "Sirius."

"Is this…?" She stared hard at Remus.

There had been a brief flicker of emotion when he said Sirius's name. He masked it, of course, but not before Lily had seen it. Her heart suddenly ached for him.

"You're in love with him," she said softly.

"You're good," he said, smiling weakly.

Lily reached across the table to take his hands in hers. She read the pain in his eyes and sympathized with it. "When did this happen?"

Remus shrugged. "I noticed a few weeks ago but…who knows? I thought it was just another crush," he said. "Like you or James."

"When did you realize it was something more?"

"Last night. I was lying there, Sirius drunk and curled up against me, my wolf clawing for the surface, when it finally hit me." Remus shook his head at the memory. "I had been trying so hard to ignore the lust that I completely missed what was actually happening."

Lily squeezed his hands. "I'm only surprised it took this long."

Remus looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"

"For all his faults, Sirius is a decent guy and he cares deeply about you. As a friend, he is utterly devoted to you and that's something your baser instincts would pick up. To your wolf," she said, "he's pack. Safe to trust. Safe to love. And with the two of you spending so much time together lately…"

"Kindred souls," Remus sighed.

How had he been so blind?

Lily was right, of course. It was only natural his wolf would be drawn to Sirius, who had always worn his heart on his sleeve and never shied from expressing his devotion to Remus. Sirius, who was ever sensitive to Remus's moods and emotions, who sought so often to protect him from himself, who knew him better than anyone.

He truly had been a fool to think it mere infatuation.

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"I _would_ suggest telling him if I thought you would actually do it, but since I know you won't…" She shrugged.

What was she supposed to say? That she had all the answers? That she could cure him of this silly love thing? She knew that he knew that wasn't true, wasn't even the faintest of possibilities.

No, Lily knew that what Remus needed was simply someone to talk to—and if he refused to admit to Sirius how he felt, then James and Peter would remain in the dark as well. Not that Lily could at all blame Remus for that decision. For all that she loved him, James Potter was as subtle as an elephant pirouetting in a pink tutu, and Peter…well, who knew what Peter was up to these days, disappearing like that with some 'secret friend' he refused to talk about.

How unfair that Remus should be destined to love someone unable to return his feelings. It was—Lily piqued.

Who was to say that Sirius wouldn't, or couldn't, return Remus's love? Of all people _Sirius_ was unashamed of his heart's desires, unashamed to follow willingly where his heart lead. Remus would not be the first bloke to catch Sirius's eye. But if Remus refused to tell him…?

_Then I will just have to drop my own hints_, she thought.

Looking back at Remus she said, "I really haven't a clue what to tell you."

—_Although I fully intend to give Sirius a massive wakeup smack across the head. Metaphorically, of course_—

"Talking about it will help but…Remus, this is something you'll eventually have to deal with on your own."

—_You just leave Sirius to me_—

"A crush I could maybe help with, but not even I can talk someone out of being in love."

_And hopefully I won't have to_.

Remus sighed. "Just promise to be there when I fall to pieces, yeah?"

The weight of vulnerability in Remus's eyes tugged at Lily's heart. Of all people Remus did not deserve this helpless misery. She prayed to whatever gods were listening that Sirius had the good sense to open his eyes and see what was right in front of him.

_And if he doesn't, then I'll just have to do it for him_.

She gave his hand a squeeze, a soft smile on her lips. "Done."

**A/N: Well. There you have it. Chapter one. Don't be shy about reviewing. I'm a total review-whore. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You rock! In this chapter: a little bit of quasi-slash (don't ask, just read). Whoot! Now read and enjoy my lovelies…**

A Silly Thing Called Love—Chapter Two

Remus was resolved to deal with this silly love thing quickly and effectively. He was not, after all, untrained in the arts of emotional concealment and deceit.

As a werewolf, he had spent most of his life hiding what he was from others, hiding his true feelings so as to dissuade others from wanting to get close to him. Even as a child he never allowed himself to bond with others, fearful that they would discover his secret and recoil in terror and disgust—or worse, tell someone and have him taken away from his parents.

To love was a risk he had been always unwilling to take. Until Hogwarts. Until Dumbledore had extended his hand. Until three twelve year old boys stumbled upon his secret and proved that, sometimes, love was worth the risk.

Of course, there was love and then there was _Love_. The kind of love that consumed like an angry wildfire: wholly, and without hesitation or care, spreading until its flames licked at the deepest recesses of heart and soul, until it was beyond quenching and all hope of survival was lost.

_Love_ was a distant cousin of Death. It was a slow torture, deceitful in its bliss, all the while scorching, rending, decimating your heart until all that remained was blind, heedless _Love_. The kind of love that left you a babbling fool, an emotional imbecile, a helpless slave to your own heart.

_Love_ was pain and tears and loss. It was complete surrender to the will of another, the laying bare of your beating heart, a game of chance where the loser lost everything and the winner lost only their heart.

Why then did people flock to love? Why risk being burned by that wildfire?

Remus smiled sadly. What would life be without love?

For all the pain and grief it caused, _Love_ was so much more. It was awkward silences, nervousness, excitement, hope. It was the frantic beating of your heart, sweaty palms, cold terror. It was comfort and it was home. It was first kisses and last dances. It was…Love.

And it was worth the pain because without love, what would make life worth living for?

All this swooped and swirled inside Remus's head like merry pixies high on caffeine. _Love, love love…_It was all well and good, to be sure. Remus was hardly against being in love. Quite the contrary actually.

Since boyhood he had dreamed of finding that special someone who would not only know his secret, but would love him in spite of it (perhaps even all the more _because_ of it). Not so much to ask for. Werewolves had paired with non-bitten in the past and enjoyed long, happy lives together.

That was what Remus had always wanted: a long and happy life.

So why, in the name of all that was good and holy, did he have to go and fall in love with Sirius Black?—and _yes_, he fully intended to lament this cruel twist of fate until he either drove himself mad, or wormed his way out of it. Whichever came first.

Sirius was one of his closest friends, and not once, in more than six years of friendship, had he shown any inclination whatsoever of seeing Remus as anything _more_ than a friend. If he had, Remus would have known—just like he had known when Lily had finally succumbed to James's charms from the way her posture and timbre would shift ever so subtly, and entirely unconsciously, when they spoke, and from the change in her pheromones whenever James was nearby. What? It was a werewolf thing.

The point was that of all people Remus would know if Sirius had a new flame in his life and would be able, eventually, to tell who it was. But Sirius had been as celibate as a priest since the start of term.

Which then begged the question: What the hell was wrong with Sirius Black?

It was utterly unheard of that he would go so long without finding someone to drape on his arm—and there were droves of students more than willing to take the job.

_Was_ there something wrong?

Remus glanced over at Sirius's bed, empty and unmade, and felt a frown tug at his lips. If there was something wrong, why had he not come to Remus? They had always used each other as sounding boards, venting their emotions and seeking solace in each other's company. There was nothing Sirius could say that would ever turn Remus away from him. Remus would never judge him or castigate him.

So. If there was something wrong—and if Sirius was refusing the company of his groupies then something was most definitely wrong—why had he not yet sought Remus out? Had it something to do with Remus? Had he done something wrong?

No, wait. Remus felt his heart drop, his palms go suddenly clammy.

Sirius had picked up on his recent discomfort. It had to be. What other explanation could there be? Sirius must have noticed that he'd begun to put distance between them.

Remus felt sick. _Oh, no_, he thought miserably. _He must think that _he's_ somehow done something wrong_.

For all his confident bluster Sirius was extremely sensitive to rejection. It was why he never allowed anyone to get close, never allowed himself to be put in a position to _be_ rejected. His 'relationships' were always quick flings, no-strings-attached, no promises—and he had broken more than a few hearts because of it.

But Sirius's refusal to commit was legendary. Another reason Remus lamented his heart's choice. _Even if he were interested, what's the point? What I want from Sirius he can't give me._

Oh, how truly cruel the Fates could be. How—

"Remus?"

_Damn_.

"Moony? Where—Oh."

Sirius paused in the doorway, his expressions bemused as he took in Remus's ragged demeanor. Unkempt hair, rumpled clothing, pallid complexion, dark circles under at his eyes…

In short, Remus Lupin looked like shit.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sirius asked, laughter in his voice.

A momentary surge of panic flushed Remus's system. _Of all the luck…_

Why did the gods so enjoy tormenting him? Had he somehow offended them in a past life? Somehow joined their game of godly roulette? If he had, he wanted out. He wasn't sure his heart, or his sanity, could take much more of this. If Sirius continued looking at him like that—

But, no! He was stronger than this. He would not—

"Um, hello? Earth to Remus."

Remus shook himself. "What?"

Sirius laughed, sauntering into the room. "Whatever it is you're on, I want some."

Remus blinked. Had his brain suddenly shut down? "On?"

"Boy, you really are out of it, aren't you?"

"I'm—I'm fine."

And he was, so long as he focused on something other than Sirius's close proximity, sitting as he was on Remus's bed, his right side pressed against Remus's left. It was a completely casual arrangement, the body-to-body contact unavoidable on the twin-sized bed.

Of course, the casualness of it did nothing to ease the frantic pounding of Remus's heart nor the burning of his skin where their bodies touched nor the sudden flush of his cheeks. _Easy,_ he told himself. _Sirius isn't threatening you. He's merely concerned. Like a friend_.

Friend. Right. Remus released a slow breath, and tasted his heart in his throat. _Double damn._ "I'm fine."

"Are you?" There was a crinkle of worry in Sirius's brow. "You seem a bit…off."

Remus smiled softly. Before anything else was said…"Look, about earlier when I, you know. It wasn't because of you. You did nothing wrong, okay? It was me. I was," Remus sighed, searching for the word, "addled. The wolf was too near the surface."

There was relief in Sirius's eyes. "I thought I had done something."

"No," Remus said firmly. "And I apologize for making you think so."

"Water under the bridge." Sirius shrugged with apparent nonchalance but Remus saw the underlying tension easing from his mien.

He had been truly worried that he had somehow offended Remus—and damn if that didn't make Remus love him all the more. _This may be harder than I thought_.

"So. You want to tell me why you're hiding up here?"

"I am not hiding," Remus said, wincing at the petulance in his voice. Was he whining?

"No?" Sirius quirked an amused eyebrow. "Then where have you been all day? I was forced to eat breakfast _and_ lunch by myself, you know? It was terribly lonely."

Remus snorted. "Oh, please. I doubt very much your fan club allowed you to sit alone for very long. I bet you didn't even notice my absence."

Sirius pressed a theatrical hand to his heart. "Ah, my friend, you wound me. Wound me, I say!"

"If only it were a blow to head," Remus replied sweetly.

Sirius chuckled. "Cute, Moony. Now fess up. You're involved in some torrid affair, aren't you? A wee lass from Hufflepuff, perhaps? A rosy-eyed bloke from Ravenclaw?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "So long as it's not a Slytherin, I give my blessing."

Remus tried very hard not to laugh. Sirius had something of a promiscuous imagination. "I was with Lily, actually."

"You don't say? James might not take too kindly to you trying to steal his girl, Moony."

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied dryly.

Sirius grinned devilishly. "And what, may I ask, were you and the fair Miss Evans doing all morning?"

"Well if you must know—"

"And I most certainly must."

"We were studying."

Sirius's expression collapsed into one of such utter disappointment it was comical. "_Studying_? Oh, how _boring_, Moony. You could have lied and said the two of you were engrossed in a bit of illicit shagging."

At this, Remus did laugh. "Would it make you feel less abandoned if I lied?"

"Bloody right it would!"

"Alright then. Lily and I _actually_ spent the entire morning shagging wantonly on Madam Pince's desk and all over her books. Better?"

Sirius sighed with dreamy contentment. "You have no idea."

"You are shameless, Sirius Black."

"All the better to debauch you with, dear Moony."

With suddenly clarity Remus realized he was…_comfortable_. His heart had ceased its frantic beating. Incoherent thoughts no longer bounced about inside his skull like hopped-up pixies. So long as he kept his wolf at bay, Remus could stand to be around Sirius without worrying about what he might do.

There was a constant ache in his chest, of course—a pulsing reminder of the ill-fated love that had taken hold of him—but he was accustomed to such aches. The sorts of aches that came in the wake of all the things Remus had always wanted but was always denied.

He was a werewolf. There would forever be a brick wall separating him from the rest of the world. There would forever be fear in his heart to pursue those things he so desperately wanted: fear of being found out, fear of being reviled, fear of being abandoned and alone.

It was why he never allowed himself to get close to others—with the exception of Peter, James, Sirius, and more recently Lily. How many people in the world would so embrace him, a werewolf, the way they had? Most would run away in horror.

Remus had long ago accepted that many of the doors that would one day open for his friends would remain inexorably locked for him. And that was the root of the threading ache in his chest.

But he could bare that ache, especially if it meant keeping Sirius in his life. A silly thing like love would not take that friendship from him.

Now, on to what was bothering Sirius. Despite his carefree and casual mood, Remus knew there was something digging away at Sirius. If he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own lamenting, he might have noticed it earlier.

Sirius's lack of interest in any of the flocks of students that hovered around him was but one flashing red flag. There was also a subtle tension masked by his otherwise cheery demeanor.

Remus saw it the way his laughter didn't fully meet his eyes and in the tightness around his mouth; the way he avoided serious discussion or made light of it; the way he worried his bottom lip and chewed at his thumbnail (a rather abnormal gesture for a Black in that it ruined their otherwise flawless appearance).

Separately, they were insignificant gestures any number of people expressed at any given time—but put together, and expressed by one Sirius Black, they evolved into some festering worry gnawing away at him. But what was it? Very little ruffled Sirius's feathers let alone unsettled him.

So. What was bothering him?

Only one way to find out, Remus mused.

Shaking himself from his inner musings he shifted, turning to face Sirius—and froze.

Sirius stood at the foot of his bed, digging through his trunk, his button-down open and hanging off his shoulders, exposing a sinful amount of tanned, flawless skin. _Oh, sweet mother of God_.

Remus swallowed hard, unable to tear his eyes away, realizing with sudden horror that he was panting like a dog in heat. Which wasn't too far off the mark, he mused.

_Stop it,_ he chided. It's only Sirius. Without a shirt on. Looking oh-so deliciously edible. _God. What I wouldn't give to lick every inch of that gorgeous body_.

Sirius slammed the trunk shut.

Remus jumped, becoming suddenly very aware of his body's appreciative response to Sirius's half-clothed body. Great. Just what he needed.

What was wrong with him anyway? It wasn't as though he'd never seen Sirius shirtless before. Being roommates for nearly seven years, he'd seen more than just Sirius's chest.

Then again, he hadn't been in love with Sirius at the time.

He hadn't had the sudden desire to tie Sirius to the bed and ravish him until he screamed his name and begged for mercy…

Remus shivered. That wasn't helping.

His wolf was dangerously close to the surface, snarling for dominance.

Closing his eyes, Remus drew in a long, slow, deep breath, willing his wolf into submission. He controlled the wolf. The wolf did not control him.

Right. And McGonagall _wasn't_ shagging Dumbledore.

Ugh. _Now there's an image…_

"Moony?"

Remus blinked, startled. "What?"

Sirius laughed, pulling a dark-colored tee-shirt over his head. "What is it with you today, huh? It's like you're somewhere else altogether."

"Sorry. I was just—"

"Thinking?" Sirius grinned.

Despite his best effort, Remus felt his wolf stir, felt the flicker of amber in his eyes and the rush of heat in his belly. He looked quickly away from Sirius. "Um, yeah."

Sirius frowned. Something was definitely wrong. "Moony…"

"We should head to class," Remus said suddenly.

"But—"

"You're right, Padfoot. You finish changing. I'll save you a seat."

Sirius stared after Remus, combing long, thin fingers through his hair. _Strange,_ he thought. _Very strange_.

* * *

Lily chewed indecisively on her thumbnail, a crinkle of worry in her brow. _What am I doing_? 

She about to willingly betray Remus's hard-earned confidence. To _James_, of all people. What was she thinking?

Remus would kill her if he ever found out. Chop her up into little pieces, set her on fire, and feed her to the Giant Squid. He'd never forgive her. He—

_Focus_, she told herself. _It has to be done_.

If she was to have any hope of making Sirius realize how perfect Remus was for him, she was going to need help. And who better than Sirius's best friend? Even if said friend was the biggest blabber-mouth in all of Hogwarts.

Honestly. James gossiped like a fifteen year old girl. Lily wouldn't be at all surprised to find him one day with curlers in his hair painting his nails. Well. Maybe a _little_ surprised.

"So," James drawled. "You hauled me into an empty closest to…pace?"

"No," Lily replied. "I hauled you in here because I need your help."

James eyed her skeptically. Lily wanted _his_ help?

They had only been dating for a few months, but James had long ago come to the conclusion that Lily Evans rarely needed anyone's help, especially his. He was, after all, a Marauder, and she was well aware of what his sort of help usually entailed.

"Don't take this the wrong way, love, but…have you been licking toads?"

Lily scowled. "Will you help me or not?"

"What's the problem?"

"If I tell you this," she said in all severity, "you have to swear on our future children that you won't get the way you get."

James scoffed, looking affronted. "And what is that suppose to mean?"

Lily sighed. "James. I love you. I really do. But you're about as subtle as Dumbledore in a pink frock."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Lils."

"Just promise me you'll use _some _discretion."

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever," he mumbled.

"Okay. Good." Drawing in a deep breath—_I can't believe I'm about to do_ _this_—Lily said, "Remus is love with Sirius."

James looked at her expectantly. "And?"

Lily frowned. Had she missed something? "What do you mean 'and'?"

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," he shrugged.

Lily stared at him. When had James Potter become so, so _astute_?

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Have you seen them together? They were practically made for each other."

"Well, yes. But—"

James grinned. "You didn't think I noticed that kind of stuff."

"Because you _don't_ notice that kind of stuff."

"Normally, no. But even I can see the chemistry between those two."

"I never thought I'd see the day when James Potter wasn't utterly oblivious," Lily teased.

James ignored her. "So. You want my help in delivering a massive wake-up blow to Sirius," he said, clearly intrigued. "What'd you have in mind?"

Lily flashed a devilish grin. "Well…"

When she was through, James stared at her with a proud smile on his face. "Why, that's downright diabolical of you Evans."

Lily shrugged, tracing her fingers along James's jaw. "I am dating a Marauder."

"You don't say?"

Wrapping his arms around Lily's waist James pulled her close, placing a soft kiss on her jaw.

"Class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes or so," she said, twirling a lock of dark hair between her fingers.

"Oh? What ever shall we do to pass the time?"

Lily smiled, drawing his mouth to hers.

* * *

"…lasted only three days but claimed the lives of sixty-four wizards and nearly a hundred goblins," Professor Binns droned in a painfully monotonous tone. "Like many previous confrontations, the…" 

Remus yawned. How was it possible that Binns could make one of the bloodiest and most infamous of goblin rebellions so horribly, unspeakably _boring_? Students should have been riveted by the blow-by-blow accounts of gore and mayhem, not put to sleep by them.

Remus folded his arms on the desk and laid his head down. James was already asleep beside him. What harm could it do to close his eyes for a few minutes? Just a few…

_The air is stifling, hot and sticky against his skin, carrying the faintest whiff of spice. Remus blinks into the semidarkness. Candles burn in holders hung from the plain stone walls, casting gold against the corner shadows. The floor is covered in thick grey carpet, soft under his bare feet. _

_Remus wipes a bead of sweat from his brow, shaking off his thin tweed coat—beneath which he wears only a flimsy white button-down and tan trousers. He allows himself a moment to wonder at his lack of shoes and odd attire before turning a slow circle. _

_A large canopied bed dominates the small room, draped in red-silk sheets and plush pillows, the gauzy curtain pulled open and wrapped around the bedposts._

_Soft music drifts from some hidden place._

_Remus unbuttons his shirt, all but panting in the sticky heat. _

_A window looks out over a black landscape. He unlatches it. _

_Cold autumn air curls in around him, banishing the unbearable heat and cooling his skin. The candle flames flicker and dance. The scent of spice grows stronger: forbidden, alluring. Remus breathes deep, blood stirring in his veins._

_Footsteps outside the door draw his attention. Anticipation tightens in his belly. His heart thumps against his chest._

_The door opens slowly, a soft creak purling against the stone walls. In the wavering semidarkness, Remus catches his breath. How is it possible for one man to be so beautiful? _

_Sirius wears only black trousers, his bare chest perfectly chiseled and golden in the soft light, his beautiful Adonis face framed by locks of dark hair, fathomless grey eyes burning with passion. _

_As the door falls shut behind him, Sirius sweeps Remus into his arms and kisses him. Remus inhales the spicy scent of him. Sirius licks at his lips, his tongue hot and slick. His hands tug at Remus's shirt, ripping buttons and fabric, tossing the material aside with a satisfied growl. _

_Remus shivers. _

_Sirius's mouth slides across his jaw, his neck, and Remus surrenders to the needy, desperate sounds swelling in his throat._

_Sirius pushes, gentle and insistent, and Remus stumbles back towards the bed._

_He falls naked onto the silken sheets. His mind wonders fleeting where his trousers have gone, but the feel of Sirius's body pressing against his vanishes all thought. _

_Warm lips skirt across his chest, his stomach, his thigh, and a hitched breath later—_

Remus awoke with a sudden start, James snoring quietly beside him. A ball of parchment teetered on the edge of his book. Remus blinked at it. _What…?_

Lily coughed softly.

She sat one desk over, head propped up on one arm, eyes focused on the notes she was scribbling. She glanced at Remus, quirked a single eyebrow, and waved her quill in the air.

Remus frowned but dutifully opened the ball of parchment.

_:Sleeping in class?:_

Smoothing out the crumbled sheet of Notes-Between parchment, glancing behind him to see that Sirius was slumbering peacefully, Remus wrote, _:It's getting worse.:_

The words glowed softly, then faded into the parchment.

Lily stared at her own parchment and frowned. _:Dreams?:_

_:In a manner of speaking.:_

_:And what manner is that?:_

Remus chewed at his bottom lip and felt his cheeks flush. This would need extremely delicate wording. The last thing he wanted was prim-and-proper Lily Evans making some sort of scene in the middle of class. Like shrilling. Or passing out.

Remus didn't want a repeat of the incident when it finally clicked for her that he was a werewolf. She ended up in the Hospital for three days after cracking her head against the edge of her desk when she swooned and fainted.

So. How to word this with finesse?

_:A…libidinous manner.:_

Remus watched as Lily's eyes widened, her cheeks coloring faintly. _At least she didn't make a scene, _he thought dryly.

Lily recovered from her momentary shock with relative quickness. _That was certainly not what I expected_, she thought, casting a quick glance at Remus.

She was unsure of how to breach such a delicate subject, and even more unsure of how Remus would take it if she simply plowed right in, so to speak.

He was willing to talk about the foundation of and potential cure for this silly love thing that had take up residence in his heart. _That_ wasn't so difficult a thing. But to willingly offer up the intimate details of his sexual fantasies? That might be asking too much.

She needed to tread carefully here. His unconscious mind would surely hold the key to unlocking Remus's unwanted love, and what better way to glimpse the desires of the unconscious than to examine the details of one's dreams?

So. How to reply without scaring Remus away or mortifying him with her blunt curiosity? Hesitantly, of course. Perhaps a dash of uncertainty. And just a hint of embarrassment. Lily smiled inwardly.

_:Has this—Was this—Are such dreams…normal for you?:_

Remus gave her a sidelong glance, eyes narrowed just so. He wasn't fooled. "Lily" and "hesitancy" were not two words found often in the same sentence.

_:I'm a seventeen year old werewolf,:_ he replied. _:What do you think?:_

Lily had the decency to shift uncomfortably in her seat. _:Right. Silly question.: _

_So much for stealth_, she sighed.

Remus was much too clever sometimes.

So. If he knew her hesitancy was a sham, then there was no harm in diving right in. He did, after all, expect a certain level of professional curiosity from her. Besides which, she had _tried_ for a tactful approach and he called her bluff. What else was a girl to do but turn to a more direct line of questioning?

_:This dream,:_ she wrote. _:Describe it.:_

Remus flushed an adorable shade of pink. _:Describe it?:_

Lily tried very hard not let her amusement show through. _:Yes. I can't very well help you decipher it unless you tell me the exact details. Shall we start with the setting? Were you outside or in a room somewhere? Was it a place you recognized? Was there any furniture? What kind? Colors? Shapes?:_

_:A room,:_ Remus wrote, a bit overwhelmed. _:Not one I recognized. There was a window overlooking a beach. It was dark. Grey carpet. Stone walls hung with candles. Canopied bed. Red sheets. There was…music playing.:_

_:Music? Did you recognize it?:_

_:Something classical. Italian, I think. Maybe an opera.:_

_:And you? What were you doing in this dream? What were you wearing? What sensations did you experience? Strange smells?:_

_:I remember the room smelled like—: _Remus flushed that adorable shade of pink again. _:Sirius.:_

Lily paused, covering her mouth to hide her smile. If that wasn't the most darling thing she had ever heard in her life…_:What else?:_

_:The room was hot. Stifling. I opened the window and that was when Sirius—:_

"…is a four page essay on the rebellion of 1546," Professor Binns droned.

James stirred beside Remus, eyes fluttering open drowsily. Around the room, other students did the same. Behind him, Remus heard the telltale groan of a waking Sirius Black.

_:We'll talk latter,:_ he scribbled, crumpling the sheet of parchment and shoving it into his bag.

James blinked at him a couple of times, frowned blankly, then shook his head clear and stretched his arms. "What'd I miss?" he yawned.

Remus tucked his things neatly into his bag. "Goblin rebellion."

"Didn't we already cover that?"

"One of them," Remus replied. "There are about a dozen."

Shoving his things into his bag with all the care of a raging hippogriff, James said, "They all start and end the same way?"

Remus shrugged. "Basically."

"Then who cares?"

"You should care, Potter." Lily pushed through the line of students exiting the classroom to tuck her arm through James's with a smile and a kiss. "Unless you want your grades to fall below mine."

James grinned. "In your dreams, Evans."

Remus rolled his eyes at the sickly-sweet display, pushing away from the desk. Turning, he caught sight of Sirius with his arms stretched above his head, back arched slightly, a look of quiet pleasure on his face.

_Oh, sweet lord_, he thought watching the deliciously erotic display. He felt his wolf stir and forced himself to look away before he did something very naughty.

Lily gave him a knowing smile, lifting a single manicured eyebrow.

Remus flushed. "I, uh…"

"You okay there, Moony?" Sirius asked. "You look all flustered."

"Fine," he chirped, wincing at the sound.

Lily's smile widened.

_Merlin's beard_, he sighed. _Where's a hole when you need one?_ "I'm fine, Sirius. Really."

"Uh-huh."

Remus cleared his throat, glancing away from Sirius's doubtful look.

He needed space. Right now. His wolf was clawing for the surface and Sirius's heady scent was doing nothing to help. Damn him and his delicious pheromones. How was Remus supposed to overcome this silly love thing when Sirius smelled so damn good?

"I think I'm going to head to the library," he said, ignoring Lily's blatant grin.

_Or maybe Timbuktu. I hear its nice there this time of year…_

**TBC**

**A/N: A bit shorter than the first one, yes. Fear not. The next one should be longer. And ****I know, I know. You're dying to know what Lily has up her sleeve. Well…I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait and see. ****Oh, and how much did we love Remus and his naughty thoughts, hm? (-: ****Anyway. Please review. Let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow. I am SO sorry it took me this long to update! I've been busy job hunting and apartment hunting and all that other post-college stuff. Yuck. Anyway, about this chapter…it's only about half as long as the previous ones, more of a teaser chapter to keep your palate whetted until I can get the next one out. In this chapter: the opening section is somewhat dark, so be warned; also, a bit more quasi-slash and a peek into 'Lily's Plan' (humor ensues). Enjoy!**

A Silly Thing Called Love—Chapter Three

Remus stretched across the large scrubbed table, one arm folded behind his head, staring up at the shadows flickering along the ceiling. The smell of burning candles lingered on the air, mingling with the subtle fragrances of beer and firewhiskey.

It was past midnight on a late-October Wednesday, the castle still and quiet. Outside the small, solitary window Remus glimpsed the star-speckled sky, the moon hidden behind dark, gauzy clouds. With the full moon only a day away his wolf was becoming increasingly bold, making him anxious and jittery.

He was utterly exhausted from the constant battle to hold his wolf a bay. Now, more than ever, Remus refused to allow his wolf dominance, terrified of what he might do—namely, maul Sirius on the spot. Tempting though the thought was.

Oh, and what thoughts they were. Sirius naked and sweating, sprawled across the cold floor, panting Remus's name as he…

Remus shuddered, banishing such images from his mind. His wolf stirred, but the alcohol kept it subdued.

It had become something of a Marauder tradition, getting half-sloshed the night before a full moon.

Remus knew he should have chastised his friends the first time they had dragged him out of bed at an ungodly midnight hour to shower him with stolen beer and sweets but, to be honest, he'd just been too damn tired. Besides, they had been fourteen and the forbidden lure of stolen alcohol had been too much even for Remus.

Ever since, the four of them had snuck out of the Tower every full moon-eve to closet themselves away in the Room of Requirement for a well-deserved night of relaxing.

Not that this particular night was especially relaxing.

Remus was struggling to ignore the appetizing sight of one Sirius Black lying draped over the scarlet-colored couch, one arm flung over the back, legs spread wide, his shirt hiked up slightly to reveal a delicious swath of golden skin.

Tearing his eyes away, Remus took a long pull on his beer.

_This is getting ridiculous_, he thought. And just a tad bit scary.

Instead of stopping short this silly love thing, instead of reigning in the rampant _want_ raging through his veins, Remus found it all spiraling further and further out of his control. The harder he tried not to look at Sirius, not to imagine what could-be, not to feel the terrible ache in his chest, the harder it was to keep his wolf at bay.

Where he was passive and patient, willing to wait out this silly love thing—even if it did eventually drive him mad so long as it meant keeping Sirius in his life—his wolf was aggressive and fiercely territorial when it came those things it felt belonged to him. And as far as his wolf was concerned, Sirius Black was totally and unarguably _his_. It was just a matter of Remus claiming him.

_Like that's ever going to happen_. Remus shifted, bending one leg and turning slightly on his side.

A roll of thunder echoed outside. Soft, pattering rain streaked down the small, solitary window. Remus listened to the frantic, gusting winds rustle the sodden trees, stripping them of their last, lingering leaves. _How fittingly poetic_, he thought. _If I were a tree…_

He felt as stripped and haggard as those trees. With every gust of wind, every leaden drop of rain, every threat of scorching flame…

He was being slowly and decidedly ripped apart, as helpless to protect himself as those trees outside. He _hurt_ and wanted so desperately not to. He hated himself for harboring such a weakness, for the heavy lump of fear in his gut, for his inability to control his wolf.

He hated his wolf for its resistance, its strength, its sheer primal determination to shatter all hope of overcoming this cold, merciless love thing.

He hated love for its utter apathy, its relentlessness, its total disregard for the suffering and heartache it inflicted.

Remus sighed, sipping his now warm beer. He didn't want to hate love. He didn't want to lose faith in its promise, its hope. The promise of love was the only thing that kept him from sinking into a bottomless pit of self-loathing and hopelessness.

And he realized that as much as he loved Sirius, he hated him for taking away that promise, for making him hurt so deeply.

Remus knew it was foolish and irrational, that Sirius could no more stop the hurt he was causing than change the color of the sky. He was as much a victim of cruel love as Remus, though he didn't know it. Yet knowing this did nothing to ease the blame Remus placed on him, unfair as it was.

He didn't want to hate Sirius, to blame him, to feel this unbearable ache every time he looked at him. But he did. And as much as he loved him, Remus wanted so desperately to be away from him. To run away and hide until he could look at Sirius again without hurting.

He wouldn't, of course. He couldn't. Not without hurting Sirius.

_How pathetic am I?_ Remus thought sadly. _I swallow my own suffering just to keep Sirius from hurting alongside me._

_Not pathetic_, a voice whispered in his ear. Lily's voice. _Selfless. Compassionate_.

_Cowardly_, he argued. _I only hide my heart because I'm afraid of losing Sirius if he ever found out, of finding myself alone and hollow_.

_Your fear is justified. But what is love without risk?_

_What is life without friends?_

_You judge him unfairly_, his inner voice chastised._ If you truly believe him capable of such heartlessness than you don't deserve his friendship._

Remus almost wished he didn't. It would be so much easier to run away from his heartache if Sirius suddenly realized Remus wasn't worth his friendship.

_That's spite talking._

_So what if it is?_ Remus demanded. _Am I not allowed to feel spiteful? To be angry and hateful and heartbroken?_

_Hollow emotions,_ whispered Lily's voice. _Empty. False. You use them as an excuse, a shield, a way to hide and pretend and lie._

Remus closed his eyes, swallowing the thump in his throat. _Lie about what?_

He could almost see Lily hovering above him, a sad smile on her face. _You tell yourself he can never love you knowing it's a lie. The truth is you're afraid to let him try, afraid he might think he deserves more._

_Doesn't he?_

_Isn't that for him to decide?_

A clap of thunder rattled the window, startling Remus back to consciousness. He heard lingering remnants of Lily's voice in his ear but refused to give her heed. He needed to be angry right now, needed the fires of hatred to protect him from the hopelessness that threatened to consume him. Hatred, in some strange way, offered him hope. He could climb from the dark pits of hatred, walk away from it and overcome it. But hopelessness…

Hopelessness would destroy him.

He opened his eyes slowly. His body ached from lying on the hard tabletop. Shifting carefully his back gave a violent twinge. Lovely, he groused.

The Room of Requirements was silent, the walls painted in flickering candlelight. Sirius was asleep on the couch, his body hanging half-way off the edge, looking so deliciously attractive even in sleep. James was sitting casually in his chair watching Remus with a uncharacteristically guarded expression.

Remus frowned. "Where's Peter?"

"Bed."

"How long have I been asleep?"

James shrugged. "About an hour."

Remus yawned, pushing himself up, feeling his muscles scream in protest. "Why didn't you wake me? I could have helped you haul Sirius to bed before he passed out."

"I thought you could use the rest."

"Well, I'm up now," he said with forced cheerfulness, swinging his legs to the floor. "We might as well get the big oaf to bed."

"Right." Reaching down, James hauled a sleep-laden Sirius to his feet, looking back at Remus with a grin. "Come on, then. He's not exactly a light load."

_No,_ Remus thought, feeling his heart pound against his chest as Sirius leaned against him. _He's not_.

* * *

Lily's plan was simple enough. 

She would have loved nothing more than to slap Sirius silly until he finally admitted to having feelings for Remus, but that wasn't exactly the subtle route she was hoping for. _Too bad_, she mused. _It would certainly do the trick_.

But she had made a promise to Remus and while she had already broken it by turning to James, she at least wanted to _pretend_ she had kept it—mostly because she was afraid of what Remus might do to her if he found out. _Hell hath no fury like a werewolf scorned_…

She'd had James slip Sirius a very mild Gullibility Potion. _Very_ mild. The last thing she needed was Sirius Black wandering around like an idiot agreeing with everything everyone else said. _Oh, yes_, she thought. Wouldn't that just scream subtle.

No, what she had given him was more a 'suggestion' potion than anything else. In truth, there was nothing 'gullible' at all about the variation she had given him, but its purpose remained simple enough. Those remarks Sirius might not otherwise hear consciously would, under the influence of the potion, stick to the back of his mind and worry away at his subconscious. When the potion wore off, all 'false thoughts' would fade away, bringing certain subconscious ideas to the surface.

_Like being in love with Remus_, Lily thought, glancing sideways at Sirius.

James caught her eye and winked, a hint of wicked amusement in his eye.

They were sitting under a tree near the North Tower, Sirius staring off into nothingness. It was an early Friday afternoon and the grounds were relatively deserted—which suited Lily's purposes perfectly, thank you very much. She and James hoped to try out her little concoction and figured solitude was probably a good idea just in case she had gotten it somehow…wrong.

James sighed dramatically, looking for any response from his absent-minded friend. Seeing none, he grinned puckishly at Lily before sobering up and turning back to his book.

"I don't know about you," he said, glancing up at Sirius, "but Lily and I can't make heads or tails of this stuff. Maybe we should shag Remus."

Sirius's head snapped up, a slightly horrified expression on his face. "_What_?

James frowned uncertainly, though Lily could tell he was struggling to hide his amusement. "I said maybe we should ask Remus."

"Ask Remus?" Sirius muttered, looking so adorably lost and confused Lily wanted suddenly to take him in her arms and admit to everything, to _anything_, just to make him smile again.

_My God,_ she thought breathlessly. _No wonder Remus is in love with him_.

"About these Arithmancy equations," James said, casting Lily a questioning look.

"Right." Sirius shook himself, pulling his thoughts back to the present. "Sorry, Prongs. I was…somewhere else."

"Clearly."

Sirius ignored his sarcasm.

"So," he said. "What were we talking about?"

"Homework."

Looking honestly perplexed Sirius asked, "Why?"

Lily laughed. How so very…Sirius of him. "Take a guess, Tweedle Dumb."

Sirius grinned devilishly. "Sticks and stones, Lilykins. Sticks and stones."

Oh, yes. Lily could see all too clearly why Remus was so in love with him. For all his apparent faults, Sirius really was an incredibly decent guy. And he really did care about Remus. They were perfect for each other.

Lily only hoped Sirius had brains enough to realize it. Because if he didn't, she might have to slap him silly.

* * *

_Remus sits beneath a sagging willow near the edge of the lake, a soft breeze dancing across his skin. The autumn sky is cloudless and blue. The sun is warm against his face._

_The grounds are still and silent, unmarred by the laughter of children and the quick patter of running feet. A lone bird soars overhead, its cry echoing on the wind._

_Remus wonders at the solitude. Where are the students playing at their afternoon games? Where are the professors strolling the grounds? He is alone and content._

_He dips his bare feet into the cold water, watches the Giant Squid glide lazily along the surface. His thin, white shirt is open at the collar, revealing a swath of pale, scarred skin._

_Footfalls sound softly behind him and he turns._

_Bright, glittering sunlight halos his body, obscuring his face, but Remus can smell him, spicy and enticing. He stands motionless, the soft breezes combing his dark hair. His white button-down is open, his flawless, golden skin deliciously exposed._

_Remus swallows the urge to touch and taste, forcing himself to stillness as Sirius sits beside him._

"_Where are the students?" he asks._

_Sirius smiles and touches his hand. "They are where they need to be."_

_Remus feels his skin burn where their hands meet. "And where are we?"_

"_Where you need to be."_

"_I don't understand."_

_Sirius shrugs and strokes his cheek. "What you need," he says, "is mine to give."_

_Warm, soft lips caress Remus's neck. Gentle hands tug at the buttons of his shirt, fingertips trace fiery patterns against his skin._

_Sirius murmurs against his ear and he feels the warm earth beneath his back._

_When Sirius kisses him, hard and needing, the world tilts and spins. He is dizzy with want and longing. His body burns to be touched._

"_More," he whispers._

"_Tell me," Sirius breaths, fingertips caressing his hips._

_He stares up into fathomless gray eyes. "I want…"_

_Fingertips slip teasingly across his abdomen. "Tell me," Sirius breaths, a smile on his lips._

"_I want—"_

Remus woke with a violent jolt, his body trembling and sweat-soaked.

A breath caught painfully in his chest. Dream, he asserted. Just a silly, harmless dream. It could have been about anyone…it just happened to involve an impossibly tempting Sirius Black and his very talented tongue.

Remus swallowed heavily. _Focus_, he told himself. B_e in the here and now_.

Right. Focus. He could do that.

The first thing he became aware of was the dull, throbbing full-body ache. His chest felt heavy, like a centaur had taken up residence on his rib cage. Newly healed wounds burned and puckered beneath their bandages and the remnants of a migraine pulsed behind his eyes.

The full moon had been kinder to him this month than usual. The transformation had been smooth and relatively quick. Not that it was in any way pleasant. Quite the contrary, it'd hurt like hell. But the pain had been mercifully brief last night, an unexpected silver lining in the terrible fate that had become Remus's life.

Speaking of which…

"Bad dream?"

Remus froze, eyes still closed as his heart hammered against his chest. He should have recognized that scent the moment he woke—he _had_ recognized it but had brushed it aside as a lingering of his dream. _Stupid_, he berated. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

There was no sense in pretending to still be asleep. Sirius wasn't an idiot. _Don't remind me_, he lamented, opening his eyes slowly.

The Hospital was empty. Pale sunlight filtered through the gauzy white window drapes, speckling the cold linoleum floor. The air was cool and dry and smelled of antiseptic and burning candle wax.

Sirius was sitting on a stool next to the bed twirling his wand between his fingers, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight as he smiled down at Remus—who hoped to God his lustful desire wasn't written too obviously across his face.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Sirius teased.

Despite himself, Remus smiled. Sirius always did have a way of cheering him up. "Well," he said. "I'm recovering from an excruciating transformation in which I turned in to a bloodthirsty monster. What's your excuse?"

Sirius shrugged, tucking his wand away. "I'm a teenage delinquent."

Remus laughed. He had been so afraid that the hatred he felt building deep within him would poison his friendship with Sirius, would make it that much more difficult to be near him. He realized now that whatever bitterness he might harbor, it was fleeting…while his friendship with Sirius was anything but. It was a fundamental part of who and what he was, something he would no more give up than the very blood in his veins.

Whatever obstacles might stand before him on this silly road called Love, Remus would overcome them. Whatever it took. Sirius was more than worth it.

"Oi, Moony. You still with me?"

Remus shook himself. "What?"

Sirius frowned softly. Something was bothering Remus. He had been so distant lately, so distracted. _He probably thinks he's being discreet_, Sirius smiled. _Probably thinks I haven't even noticed_.

But how could he not notice? Especially when he seemed to be part of the problem.

Of course, _why_ he was part of the problem remained the ultimate mystery. Had he done something? Said something? _Not_ said something? He was fairly certain he hadn't missed a birthday or broken any of Remus things. So what was it?

Was something wrong with Remus?

_But what could be wrong?_

"Padfoot…"

Sirius inhaled sharply, pulling his eyes away from the wall. "Sorry. What?"

Remus smiled teasingly. "You still with _me_?"

Looking at Remus, his blonde hair hopelessly disheveled, Sirius had the sudden urge to brush a stray lock away from his eyes, an odd flutter in his heart. "Always, Moony."

**TBC**

**A/N: Okay, several of you have commented on my distinctly American vernacular and have suggested I somehow channel my inner Brit. Unfortunately, I ain't got an inner Brit and wouldn't know where to begin even if I did so I've never really given it a shot. How terribly American of me, I know. However. Should any of you have any suggestions about how I might British-ize my dialogue I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to email me at **bittlebee/gmail .com


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two updates in one week. Wow. Don't expect that too often :-) **** We get a look at Sirius's perspective in this chapter, and also meet his inner voice (hilarity ensues). Oh, and just an FYI: be prepared to want to kill me when you get to the end of this chapter (Just read. You'll see). Enjoy, lovies…**

A Silly Thing Called Love—Chapter Four

An unseasonable heat wave had settled over the grounds of Hogwarts. The air was heavy and damp, the skies darkened by miserable, drizzling rains. Halloween was less than a week away and the dreadful weather was slowly poisoning the collective holiday cheer.

Sirius was lying half-draped across a plush, oversized chair, staring miserably up at the ceiling. Lily sat on the floor, her back pressed against his chair, a quill twirling absently between her fingers as she skimmed the pages of her history book.

The common room was abuzz with endless conversations, the atmosphere uncomfortably thick with the press of too many bodies in one space.

It was a Saturday morning. The common room ­_should_ have been empty.

Sirius sighed, shifted his weight.

He was bored. James had marched off earlier to serve a detention with McGonagall, and Peter had disappeared with his newly acquired 'secret friend.' And Remus…well. _Where to begin with dear old Moony?_

Something had been bothering Remus for weeks. Something eating away at him, stirring his wolf. Something having to do with him. Sirius was sure of it.

Why else would he look so nervous whenever Sirius approached, or flinch away whenever Sirius touched him? Why else would he look so, so _hurt_?

Remus hadn't looked at him like that since The Incident with Snivellus, and that…Sirius shivered. Those had been the worst months of his life, enduring Moony's cold fury and utter disregard.

_So what did I do now_? he thought desolately.

Nothing, he told himself. They had been getting on famously. Sirius hadn't said or done a stupid, childish thing in weeks—although. There was that _one _spell, but how anyone could be angry over a suit of armor that pinches your bum and screams _hot potato_! was beyond him.

Okay. So maybe he had done a _few_ childish things, but nothing so worthy of Remus's righteous disapproval. And yet…

_I must have done something_.

There had been no distancing with James or Peter or Lily. No hurt-filled glances. No wariness or hesitation or avoidance. No, Remus seemed only to be pushing away from him. But why?

"Hey there, sleepyhead."

Sirius looked down at Lily. She was smiling up towards the staircase, book closed in her lap. Glancing over, he felt a strange flutter in his chest.

"My Padfoot," Remus teased. "Don't we look positively cheerful?"

"Oh, don't mind him," Lily replied. "He's mourning the loss his weekend."

"Poor puppy," Remus smiled, and Sirius had the sudden urge to cup that glowing face in his hands.

_Stop that_, he chastised, tearing his eyes away._ How can I…_

A fluke, he intoned. A momentary loss of self.

It had to be.

Right?

Sirius shifted again, pulling his eyes away from a now reclining Remus Lupin—who looked terribly shag-able with his rumbled clothing, sleepy, half-lidded eyes, and disheveled hair. _Oh god_, Sirius panicked, his blood running suddenly cold. _Oh god, oh god, oh god!_

What was wrong with him? Since when was Remus 'shag-able'?

_Duh_, his inner, frankly amused, voice chimed in. _Since always_.

_No_, he argued irritably, _not since always. Only since…_

Quiet laughter. _Always?_

The fact that he was arguing with himself wasn't nearly as frightening to Sirius as the fact that he was now realizing he…what? Fancied Remus?

_No_, he told himself. _No way. It's, it's hormones! Yeah, that's it. Pesky, teenage hormones._

_Right_, laughed his inner voice, which sounded remarkably like Lily, _and dragons are cuddly as kittens. Face it, Pads, you're smitten._

_I am not!_ he protested, horrified and slightly…warmed.

_You are._

_A Black is never 'smitten,'_ he replied haughtily.

_Fine, then. Not smitten—_

_Damn right, not smitten._

—_In love._

_That's ri—wait, what?_ _No! I'm not…I don't…_

_You are,_ came Lily's calm, assertive voice. _And you do_.

_I'm cracked,_ he decided. Had to be to think—

But what if he wasn't? What if he really did fancy Remus?

_I don't_.

_You do._

_Don't._

_Do._

_Oh, shut up._

This was serious. Really serious. What if this _was_ more than just hormones? What if he _did_ fancy Remus?

_No way_, he thought. _I would know if I fancied someone. Right?_

_Not if you're thick as a post, _was the sarcastically sweet reply.

Sirius ignored it.

He needed to think about this. _Really_ think about it. Could he, in all honestly, ever fancy Remus? Could he find the way his dusty-blonde hair fell across his eyes appealing? Could he find the way he chewed on his bottom lip so sinfully tempting? Could he find those amber-flecked eyes so endlessly beautiful? Could he find his smile enticing? His strong, pale hands so wantonly sexy? His mouth so needing of devouring? His—

_Bloody hell,_ he sighed, feeling every inch miserable and dejected. _I fancy Remus._

_Yes, well. I hate to say I told you so…_

_Oh, bugger off._

When did this happen? _How_ did this happen? How does one go about falling for his best friend without even realizing it? And why did it strike him so suddenly? Why now?

_Why not?_ countered Lily's annoyingly persistent voice.

_I though I told you to bugger off!_

He crossed his arms with a childish huff, drawing further into himself as he tried to puzzle out what was happening to him.

What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could march up to Remus, shove him up against a wall, and snog him senseless. Well, he _could_. It would probably even be heaven right up until the moment Remus hexed him into next week.

_He might not…_

Sirius frowned. _What did I tell you?_

"Stupid voice," he muttered.

_Stubborn oaf._

_Oi!_ _You're supposed to me _my_ conscience._

_Then perhaps _you_ think you're a stubborn oaf._

Sirius scowled. How was he supposed to deal with fancying Remus when his own conscience was against him?

And why the hell did his conscience sound like Lily?

"…have a snog with Remus."

Sirius jerked back to reality, his mind racing with a thousand confusing thoughts. "Sure, Lils—"

_Wait a minute_. "What?"

Lily looked up at him, a single eyebrow arched in question. "I said you should have gone with Remus. To meet James?"

Sirius's brow pinched in confusion. _I could have sworn…_

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"That Remus went to meet James?"

"No, that you—"

"That I what?"

_I losing it. I _must_ be losing it to have heard—_

"Sirius, are you alright?" Lily asked, the back of her hand pressed to his brow. "You look rather pale. Maybe you should go lie down for a bit."

"I think maybe I should," he murmured, hauling himself to his feet. "Tell James…"

Lily smiled softly. "Don't worry," she said. "I'll make sure no one bothers you."

Watching him stumble up the stairs, an adorably bemused expression on his face, Lily settled back into her book with a smug grin. _No one but Remus._

* * *

_Pale fingertips glide across his bare chest. Gentle, teasing._

_A warm breath caresses his neck. Lips press lightly against his skin. Playful, promising._

_Sirius's eyes flutter closed, a sigh whispers from his lips._

_The room is dim and shadowed. Candles flicker in plain silver sconces, painting the walls with glowing, writhing forms. The floor is layered in thick, dull-colored carpets, soft and supple beneath his body._

_An artful tongue traces the line of his ear, his throat, his collarbone. _

_Sirius draws a ragged breath, fingers clutching at the floor._

_Lips curl against his skin. A knowing smile, a promise of more._

_A face blurred by some unseen light hovers just there. Waiting, daring, hoping._

_He lifts his head—_

"_Sirius."_

_He looks up and the world shifts, quivers and falls away._

_White swallows his vision, empty and cold._

_Remus stands an arms length away looking hurt and betrayed._

_Sirius frowns, steps towards him. "What?" he asks. "What have I done?"_

_Remus shakes his head, steps away. "Blind," he whispers. "So terribly blind."_

_The air shimmers and blurs. Remus fades…_

And Sirius woke with a start, sweaty and panting, heart pounding against his chest.

"What the hell?"

* * *

Remus sat outside the Transfiguration classroom, knees drawn up to his chest, watching the statue of Boris the Bewildered sway back and forth to some unheard hula dance. _Sirius and his statues_, he smiled.

It drove Filch and McGonagall batty, having to unspell a new statue nearly every week, all the while knowing it was Sirius but unable to prove it.

_He does like to push the envelope, though_.

His latest prank, genius as it was, had very nearly tipped McGonagall over the edge. A suit of armor that pinches the bum of everyone that walks by and screams _hot potato!_ was risky enough, but to have it pinch McGonagall's bum and scream _cold fish!_ was downright suicidal.

Sirius was lucky Dumbledore had been there to quell McGonagall's wrath, although she had later given him a month of detention for arriving late to class. His look of utter smugness had earned him a further two weeks.

Not that Sirius was in any way bothered by the prospect of six weeks of detention. He and James had long ago surpassed the record for most detentions received, and neither seemed particularly inclined to throw in the towel.

Boris the Bewildered paused mid-hula, seeming more bewildered than usual, before settling into a stiff cha-cha rhythm. Remus laughed softly. _What am I to do with you, Sirius Black?_

Since the full moon several days earlier, Remus had noticed a distinct resurgence of control over his wolf. It was still more agitated than usual, still clawing desperately for the surface, but it was once more securely leashed.

Which lifted a huge weight off Remus's shoulders.

Things weren't back to normal, not by a long shot, but they were getting there. The spicy scent Sirius emitted still enticed him like nothing else, but he no longer had to worry about what his wolf might do if he relaxed just a smidge too much. He _could_ relax around Sirius now without fear of what he might say or do.

Oh, his heart broke every time he looked at Sirius, caught a glimpse of his smile, brushed up against his arm, but that would fade in time. The small spark of hate he felt simmering in his gut would fade as well. Love could be a cruel master, but it couldn't keep its hold forever, not when Remus refused to bow before each stinging lash.

"Contemplating the meaning of life?"

Remus blinked, looked up. "No," he grinned. "Just the meaning of that," he said, waving a hand towards Boris the Bewildered, who now appeared to be doing The Twist.

James chuckled. "Leave it to Sirius…"

"How was detention," Remus asked, pushing himself to his feet.

"Oh, just thrilling," James drawled. "I wrote lines for two hours."

"Let me guess. 'I will not put newt eyes in a fellow student's soup.'"

James feigned a shocked gasp, pressing a hand to his chest. "How ever did you know?"

"If I told you," Remus replied with mock severity, "I'd have to kill you."

"Cute, Moony."

"Well," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I _prefer _devilishly handsome…"

James snorted. "You've been spending too much time with Padfoot."

Remus arched a curious eyebrow, lips twitching in amusement. "So you're saying I'm visibly repulsive?"

"Not at all. Just that I think you've cracked."

Remus laughed, stepping around the statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor, which whistled appreciatively as they passed (and looked pained in doing so). "Fair enough."

"Speaking of Sirius…"

"What about him?" Remus asked, ignoring the nervous twist in his stomach. _Does he know_?

"I think you should talk to him."

"About what?"

James stopped, an uncharacteristic frown darkening his features. "He thinks your angry with him."

"What? Why?"

"Don't know," James shrugged. "But he does, and it's not fair of you to let him think so."

"I'm not!" Remus replied heatedly. "I would never…"

"So talk to him, Moony. You know how he gets."

Remus nodded mutely, following James into Gryffindor Tower.

Talk to Sirius. _I can do that_, he thought, ignoring the nervous flutter in his belly—his earlier confidence at reclaiming control over his wolf seeming suddenly very foolish. _I think_.

* * *

The dorm room was stifling; hot, muggy air blowing in through the open window. Rain splashed against the bared windowsill, dripping down the wall to puddle on the floor. Everything looked damp and miserable.

Sirius paced a circuit around the room, unmindful of the dreadful atmosphere. He needed the fresh air to clear his head. To think.

What was he to make of that dream? A lithe body, pale and sensual. Soft, teasing fingertips and warm lips. Faceless but…

A disapproving cluck of the tongue and then, _Do I really need to say it?_

Sirius paused, scowling darkly. _What part of 'bugger off' didn't you get?_

Silence.

"Finally," he muttered, savoring the inner peace and quiet.

Sirius was at a crossroads. Of course he knew who the faceless body belonged to. Had the object of his sudden lust been anyone else, he would have simply taken them to an empty classroom and shagged them senseless. No commitments, no strings attached. But this was Remus—and Remus J. Lupin would never be a simple one night stand.

Thus his crossroads.

On the one hand, he found himself irresistibly attracted to Remus—_And where the hell had _that_ snuck in from?­_—On the other, he knew that, not only would Remus never submit to being a one night stand, but that he deserved more. Remus was the sort of bloke you settled down with, not _fooled around_ with…and that was the problem.

Sirius wasn't sure he knew how to settle down, to commit to one person for the rest of his life. He wasn't even sure he _could_ commit, and if there was the slightest chance he might prove in anyway unfaithful to Remus than the risk simply wasn't worth it. He would never be able to live with himself if he ever hurt Remus.

_You know? You really don't give yourself enough credit, Pads._

Sirius sighed. _Oh?_

_You are perfectly capable of commitment._

_You don't say._

_I do say,_ came Lily's softly amused voice. _You're just terrified of it._

_Am I?_

_Oh, yes. You, Sirius Black, are terrified of being rejected._

_I—_

"Padfoot?"

Sirius froze, heart plummeting to his stomach.

"Why do you have the window open?" Remus asked, crossing the room to pull it closed. "It feels like a sauna in here."

"I, uh…Fresh air?"

"Uh-huh. Are you feeling alright Sirius?"

_Lovely thanks,_ he thought sarcastically. _I think I might shag you into the floor. And you?_

"Fine, Moony."

And then Remus was there, hand resting on his arm, a slight crinkle in his brow, fathomless emotion in his eyes. "Can we talk?"

Sirius swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting his voice.

Remus drew away, sliding down the foot of his bed to sit comfortably on the floor. He patted the spot beside him and Sirius dutifully sat. "Things have been…strange between us lately. I know it's mostly my doing but—" Remus turned his head, locks of dusty-blonde hair falling across his eyes. "Sirius, you haven't done anything wrong, okay? I'm not angry with you."

Sirius looked away, sudden desire replaced by bitter memories of hurt-filled glances. "I thought…maybe you'd finally had enough of me."

"No. No, that's not it at all."

"Then what? Why the distance all of a sudden?"

"I haven't—" Remus sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"Just tell me why? What I did."

"Nothing. You did nothing, okay?"

Sirius laughed bitterly. "You're giving me the 'It's not you it's me' routine? That's rich, Moony."

Remus felt a flash of amber darken his eyes, felt the wolf stir and howl. _Breathe_, he told himself. _Just breathe. You control the wolf. The wolf does not control you_.

"Now you're starting to scare me," Sirius said. "Since when is the wolf this dominate _after_ a full moon."

"It's because you're so close," he said without thinking, and regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. _Damn_.

"Me? What have I to do with your furry little friend?"

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"Remus?"

_Just tell him_, came his own inner-Lily.

Drawing in a deep breath, Remus opened his eyes. "Sirius—"

Those beautiful grey eyes hovered just…_there_. He could feel the warmth of Sirius's breath, the heat of his body. Full lips parted just so, a well of emotion etched into every inch of that perfect face. Remus thought he saw a flash of surprise, but then those lips were moving closer…

And the door flew open with a _bang!_

Remus and Sirius jumped apart, flushed and embarrassed.

James, seemingly ignorant of what he had almost interrupted, bounced excitedly in the doorway. "You two have _got_ to see this!"

**TBC**

**A/N: You want to kill me, don't you? I did warn you, you know. Okay, well. I'm thinking one more chapter for this one (**_**maybe**_** two). Don't look so stricken. It had to end some time. Please review, and until next time…**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think I wrote this chapter six different ways before I found one that felt right. It has a little bit of everything: humor, angst, sappy romance, and of course some good old-fashioned boy-slash. Read and enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

A Silly Thing Called Love—Chapter Five

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Lily demanded, a furious spark in her emerald eyes.

James cowered against the wall, eyes wide and fearful. A pissed off Lily Evans was a deadly Lily Evans. "Um…"

"Was I speaking in tongues?" she snapped. "What part of 'James don't go up there' didn't you get? And don't you dare make a smartass remark," she warned.

James closed his mouth, shifting nervously. "Lily. Darling. Love of my life."

"Do you _want_ to be hexed, Potter?"

"Well—"

Lily's eyes narrowed dangerously, and James wisely shut up. "What did I say about smartass remarks?"

"Right. Sorry."

They were standing in the stairwell, James hopelessly trapped between the wall and his irate, wand-wielding girlfriend. Around the corner, the common room buzzed with laughter, students crowded around the windows.

Not fifteen minutes ago, Peter had come rushing through the portrait hole, out of breath and clutching at his sides. "Look. Window."

As a whole, the students in the common room had risen and stepped towards the windows…to see Snape, Avery, and the Lestrange brothers bouncing like rag dolls over the lake, each boasting a head of brightly colored cotton candy hair, yellow and black striped skin, and fluffy pink knickers; a trio of sixth year Hufflepuffs stood at the lakes edge looking smugly triumphant.

James had taken one look and bounded off to tell Remus and Sirius, unmindful of what he might have been interrupting and heedless of Lily's outraged voice. _Snivellus_ had just been hexed by a bunch of _Hufflepuffs_. How could he _not_ tell Remus and Sirius?

"I'm sorry, alright?"

"Please," Lily scoffed, a slight twitch pulling at the corner of her mouth. "Who do you think you're fooling, Potter? When have you ever been sorry for spouting off about a good Slytherin hexing?"

James perked up hopefully, his heart rate calming as Lily tucked away her wand. "So you forgive me, then?"

"Hardly," she said dryly. "I expect a great deal of groveling and flattery before I so much as consider forgiving you for ruining all my hard work."

Slipping an arm around her waist, James pulled her forward, placing a delicate kiss on the side of her neck. "What if I did a little"—he nipped playfully at her ear—"kissing up?"

Lily smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Put in some overtime," she said, her lips brushing his jaw, "and we'll talk."

James grinned, dropping her into a theatrical dip. "Done."

* * *

Remus stood at the back of the crowd, staring pointedly at the back of Tracy Temple's head and trying hard to ignore the heat from Sirius's body. He had a strong and sudden urge to flee, to find a nice, cozy hole to curl up in for the rest of eternity—anything to escape the thick, suffocating tension.

"I think we should talk," Sirius said softly, nodding toward the portrait hole.

Remus nodded mutely, terrified of what he might blurt out if he opened his mouth. His wolf was dangerously close to the surface, which worried him more than he wanted to admit. Normally, the first week or so following the full moon was when the wolf was at its most dormant.

Stepping through the portrait hole, he followed Sirius through the corridors, keeping several steps behind to avoid all contact. He was afraid that a single touch would send his wolf over the edge, and he really didn't fancy the thought of what he might do if that happened.

_Throw him to the floor and have your wicked way with him?_ suggested his persistently annoying inner voice.

_Yes, and that would go over just swell,_ he thought sourly. _My apologies Padfoot, but I feel I must rip all your clothes off and lick every inch of your perfect body._

What he really wanted to do was turn around and run. He _really_ didn't want to have this conversation. What was he supposed to say? How the hell was he supposed to explain almost kissing him?

_By telling the truth. It isn't as though he'll turn you away because you're in love with him._

_Of course not, but…_

Revealing his feelings was bound to stir up all sorts of tension and awkwardness. Sirius could never return his feelings, not in the way Remus wanted. He was notorious for his persistent lack of emotional attachment. His longest 'relationship' had lasted a staggering six day.

Remus knew that Sirius was capable of love and attachment, but also that he outright refused them. For all his confident bluster, Sirius Black was terrified of being rejected. A life lived among family that scoffed at him, that thought him an utter disappoint, had left its mark on the boastful animagus.

Sirius feared getting close, feared exposing his bruised heart, certain that the moment he did so it would be mercilessly shattered. There was an innate distrust for anyone who might love him, a needling suspicion that they only pretended in order to ridicule him for such a weakness. Like his family had done.

Remus sighed. This was why he never wanted to fall for Sirius in the first place. He wasn't ready to love, not fully, not in the way Remus needed him to.

_And if he were?_

_Yes, but for how long?_ Remus thought. How long before he strayed? Before old fears resurfaced and pushed him away? Before he started to doubt?

Remus wanted forever, not _for now_. He refused to be just another notch in Sirius's bedpost. He wanted Sirius wholly and faithfully or not at all.

"Here."

Remus stopped, looked up.

They were standing outside the Room of Requirements. The corridor was empty, quiet. A portrait of Barnabas the Barmy hung opposite the trick wall, revealing the erratic wizard trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet.

Remus forced himself to stare at that portrait, to resist the urge to turn and devour Sirius with his amber-flecked eyes, to give his wolf the pleasure of forcing its dominance. _You control the wolf_, he thought. _The wolf does not control you._

He felt a touch to his arm and stiffened, pulling away. He didn't need to look at Sirius to know he was hurt, confused.

He followed Sirius inside, closing the door behind him.

The Room was decorated sparsely and in Gryffindor colors. A couch and chair set, coffee table, fireplace. The floor was covered in soft, thick carpet, and the ceiling was spelled to reveal a cloudless blue sky. The air held a faint touch of incense and the spicy scent of Sirius's skin. Remus swallowed hard, sitting in one of the chairs.

They sat in silence for several minutes before Sirius finally spoke, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Moony…what, uh." His gaze flickered to Remus, fell back to the floor. "Did we…? Oh, bugger all," he sighed. "We almost kissed."

Remus sat stiffly, eyes trained to a spot on the coffee table. His tongue felt like a ten pound weight in his mouth. He pressed his hands between his knees to still their trembling. _I can't do this_, he thought, panicking.

"Remus? Say something. Please."

_Oh, god. I think I might be sick_.

"Moony…"

He was pulled back to the here and now by a hand resting on his knee. He felt the heat of Sirius's palm through his trousers. "I…yes," he said softly. "We did."

"Why?"

Remus almost laughed, almost _answered_ before realizing he had even opened his mouth. His wolf was very close to breaking its chains.

"Talk to me, Moony," Sirius said, and the quiet vulnerability in those simple words nearly broke Remus's heart.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"I want you to look at me for starters."

_Please, don't_, he thought helplessly as warm fingers gripped his chin, turning his head slowly, gently, until amber-flecked eyes met grey. Sirius stared back at him with a well of twisting emotions: hurt, confusion, inquiry, and something else. Something Remus refused to believe was there.

Sirius pushed a lock of sandy-blonde hair away from Remus's eyes, fingertips lingering against his cheek. "Why have you been so distant with me?"

"I haven't—"

"The truth, Moony."

Remus closed his eyes. The truth. He'd been trying so hard to swallow the truth, to _change_ it and bury it away. The _truth_ was that he was hopelessly in love with Sirius, so much so it hurt with every breath, every beat of his heart. The _truth_ was that he craved Sirius, his touch, his smile, the scent of his skin and the heat of his body. The _truth_ was that he needed Sirius so desperately he realized that he was willing to be just another fling, another body to satisfy his lust, if only to have him for one night.

_I've surrendered my heart to you, Sirius Black. Shall we see what care you take with it?_

"The truth," he repeated with a touch of irony. "Okay, Sirius. I'll give you the truth." Looking into those fathomless grey eyes, Remus swallowed and said softly, evenly, "I'm in love with you."

Sirius seemed to petrify, eyes wide and disbelieving. _Did I just…did he…?_ He struggled to find the right words, _any _words, just to break the thickening silence. "You…uh."

Remus smiled sadly. "It's okay, Padfoot," he said, forcing himself to his feet, ready to flee. "You don't have to say anything."

But Sirius's hand latched on to his wrist before he could take a single step. "Sit, Moony."

"Sirius, please."

"Sit."

Under different circumstances Remus might have been amused by Sirius's authoritative tone, his firm insistence that he _sit_ like a good dog. As it was, he was not amused. He was terrified. But he sat obediently, eyes downcast. "You can let go now."

Sirius's hand stayed where it was, tightening just so. "Why didn't you tell me?" Remus shot him a look. "Right," he mumbled. "Stupid question. Can I ask another one?"

Remus felt his lips twitch. "You don't need my permission to ask a question, Sirius."

A subtle flush colored Sirius's cheeks, a chagrined smile on his face. "I was wondering if, um…if I could—"

"If you could what?"

"If I could kiss you."

Remus nearly recoiled in shock, the color draining from his face. "Why would you want to kiss me?"

Sirius gave him a look as if to say 'Isn't it obvious?' "I just do."

"That's not an answer."

Sirius shrugged, looked away.

"No, Sirius. You don't get to say something like that and expect me to let it go," Remus said. "It's your turn to talk to me."

"I just—" he shrugged again, looking so adorably helpless. "I like you, Moony."

Remus felt suddenly like he'd been punched in the gut. He felt his irritation peak, felt all the anger and hurt he'd been bottling up for weeks finally breach the surface. He had just handed Sirius his heart on a silver platter and he…

"You _like_ me?" There was a growl in his voice, a dangerous flash of amber in his eyes. "Well, congratulations Padfoot. Hope that works out for you."

_Run_, his mind screamed. _Get out of there before you say something else you'll regret_.

He was halfway to the door before Sirius caught his arm.

"What the hell, Remus? What did I do to deserve that?"

"What did you do?" he snapped. "I _love you_ Sirius and you tell me that you_ like_ me? Do you even know what that word means?"

Sirius flinched, a shattered expression settling over his features. "That's not fair."

Closing his eyes, Remus drew in a long, slow breath. Things were getting out of hand. He was letting his emotions get the better of him. "You're right," he murmured. "You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

Sirius smiled weakly, combing a hand through his hair. "Water under the bridge."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just…this isn't exactly easy for me."

"And I'm not exactly helping things, am I?" Sirius laughed self-consciously.

"Not your fault."

"No, it is," Sirius said. "My fault, I mean."

"Sirius—"

He pressed a finger to Remus's lips, a spark of amusement in his eyes. "Hush, Moony. I talk now."

Remus nodded mutely.

"I can see now that I said the wrong thing."

_Understatement of the year_.

"I agree," Sirius said with a wry grin, revealing his eerie ability to know Remus better then he knew himself. "But I think maybe I can fix that."

_Do tell_, Remus thought dryly.

Sirius shot him a warning look. "Don't get smart, Moony. Now. What I should have said was I—"

_You what?_

"Give me a second, will you?" Scrounging up the last of his Gryffindor courage, he said, "I think I might be falling in love with you."

_You think you _might_ be falling in love with me?_

"I _am_ falling in love with you."

Remus swallowed, not at all trusting his voice but needing to say something. "Can I talk now?"

Sirius nodded, refusing to meet his eye.

"Please don't be hurt by this," he said, "but are you sure you're not just…libidinous?"

Sirius snorted, flashing a small, wicked grin. "Horny, Moony. The word's horny. And I'm not. Well, I am. But not for you. I mean I _am_ for you just not _only_—and I'm going to shut up now.

Remus was smiling, slightly confused. "I'm not sure whether I should feel complimented or offended by that ramble."

"I'm not saying this well at all," Sirius sighed.

"I stand corrected," Remus teased. "_That_ was the understatement of the year."

"Can I start over?"

"By all means."

Remus was astounded, and strangely amused, by the sheer absurdity of their current situation. This was not at all how he had expected this conversation to go. Only Sirius could make him smile, make him feel _comfortable_, during what should have been a heartbreaking confession.

"This is not just me being horny," Sirius said. "And even if it was, you could never be a one-nighter. I know that I can love you Remus, that I _do_ love you. I just want the chance to make you happy."

"You do make me happy. You've always made me happy," Remus said, a painful clench in his heart. "But how long before you get bored or scared or do something stupid and break my heart? I love you Sirius. I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to take the risk."

He turned away, reaching again for the door, needing to be away from Sirius and the heartbreak written so clearly across his face. But again, he was stopped by a hand wrapped around his wrist, a determined voice refusing to let him go.

"I'll never grow bored of you," Sirius said. "I can't promise I won't do anything stupid, because I probably will. I'll probably do a lot of stupid things. I can't promise I won't break your heart, because I might. What I can promise is that I'll never stop loving you. I'll never stop being amazed by you or feeling so unbelievably lucky that you would love someone like me. I want you in my life, Remus. However you'll have me."

Remus felt his resolve weakening, felt himself succumbing to the sweetness of Sirius's voice, the promise of his words. "Damnit, Sirius," he whispered. "You say things like that and make it impossible for me not to love you."

"One of my many talents," Sirius replied anxiously, heart hammering in his chest. What if Remus said _No_?

Seeing the nervousness etched across Sirius's face, the hope and honesty written so plainly in his eyes, Remus came to a decision. There was a good chance that things might end badly, that Sirius would end up breaking his heart, but then again…_Love is a risk_, Remus thought. _And what would life be without love?_

Smiling softly, he took Sirius's face between his hands. He was trembling, looking very unlike the boastful, confident wizard Remus had grown to know and love. He was nervous, near to a point of panic.

Remus forced his chin up, meeting his impossibly grey eyes. "Here's something I never thought I'd say to the infamous Sirius Black," he said with gentle teasing. "Relax. It's only me."

"Exactly," Sirius replied. "It's you. And me. _Us_."

Remus sighed, frowned. "Maybe we're moving too fast," he said, stepping away. "I want this, but if you're still unsure—"

Sirius had his arms wrapped around Remus's waist, hauling him forward into a kiss that seared through his body like a bolt of lightning. He felt his knees buckle, turning to putty, and only Sirius's arms kept him from collapsing.

He had never given much credence to the old clichés, but at that moment he understood how a kiss could _burn like fire_—he was consumed by the passion, the flames of Sirius Black.

Remus had always thought that a kiss was a kiss. Every kiss he'd ever shared had been nice or pleasant or decent, and after a while he had simply assumed that's how _all_ kisses were. But Sirius kissed with a fiery, devouring passion that left Remus trembling in his arms.

"Oh, I want," Sirius whispered in his ear.

Remus sagged against him. "_God_," he breathed. "Kiss me like that again and you can do what you want to me."

Sirius grinned, all trace of his nervousness gone. "Now you're talking."

The Room had transformed, the couch and chairs replaced by a lush, canopied bed draped in fine, scarlet sheets. The cloudless blue sky had become a starlit night, the quarter moon shimmering faintly.

Nuzzling the crook of Sirius's neck, Remus succumbed to his wolf's desire to taste that soft, golden skin, and felt Sirius shiver as he traced his tongue along the curve of his ear.

Strong hands tugged at the buttons of his shirt, those fathomless grey eyes searching Remus's face, asking silent permission. "You don't need to ask," he said softly, pushing Sirius's shirt off his shoulders to join his own on the floor.

"God, you're beautiful," Sirius whispered, uncaring of how ridiculously sappy he sounded, knowing it was right thing to say by the shy smile and delicate flush coloring Remus's face; he had always been self-conscious about the pale scars littering his body.

Combing his fingers through Sirius's dark tresses, Remus kissed him again, that same fiery passion searing through his body like wild fire. Sirius pulled him close, hands traveling the length of his bare back. Remus moaned, thrusting against Sirius's arousal.

Sirius gasped, tearing his mouth free. "Fuck, Moony."

Remus felt a growl rise in his throat, felt his wolf pull free of its chains and howl its victory as Sirius stared hungrily at his pale chest, tracing each scar with hands and mouth.

"Sirius…"

Remus felt a whisper of magic against his skin and then…

"Did you vanish my trousers?" he asked, amusement in his voice.

"I'm no good with belts and zippers," Sirius replied against his throat, blunt teeth kneading the delicate skin.

"You're no good with vanishing either," Remus pointed out, nipping at his ear.

Sirius groaned, grinding their naked erections together, eliciting a harsh, strangled gasp. "You complaining?"

Snaking a hand between their bodies, Remus grasped Sirius firmly, loving the way he moaned and bucked against him. "Just making conversation," he said, stroking his thumb over the tip.

Sirius cried out softly, feeling his controlling slipping away. "Bed," he growled. "Now."

Remus arched an amused eyebrow at Sirius's sudden monosyllabism, but crawled obediently onto the bed, mesmerized by the way Sirius watched him with predatory eyes, sliding over him with a hungry look.

He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of Remus's thigh, looking up at him with a wicked grin.

Remus hissed, hips bucking wantonly as Sirius slid his lips over his length, a teasing finger circling his tight entrance. "Please," he gasped, pushing down on his thrusting fingers. "Sirius…"

Kneeling between his legs, staring down into those beautiful amber-flecked eyes, Sirius aligned himself and pushed forward, swallowing Remus's moan in a bruising kiss. _God, he's so tight…_

Remus rocked his hips encouragingly, legs wrapped around Sirius's waist as he arched upward. Sirius gritted his teeth, holding on desperately to his control as he began to move with long, slow strokes. Remus moaned and panted beneath him, fingernails raking down his back.

"Sirius…"

He felt Remus tighten around him and warmth flood his stomach, and then he was tumbling over the edge, Remus's name spilling from his lips as he came.

They lay spent and wrapped around each other for several minutes before Remus found the strength to _accio_ his wand and perform a quick cleansing spell. Sirius pressed a sweet kiss below his jaw, a restless finger tracing abstract designs on Remus's chest.

"So," Sirius said, propping himself up on one arm, a lazy smile on his face. "Is that a _Yes_?"

Remus shifted onto his side, an amused quirk pulling at his mouth. "A _Yes_ to what?" he asked.

"To whether or not you'll take a chance on me."

"No, Sirius, " he replied dryly. "I shag every bloke I plan on rejecting."

Sirius frowned. "So is that a _Yes_?"

Remus chuckled, pushing him onto his back. "Yes, Mr. Padfoot. It's a _Yes_."

"Brilliant," he grinned, pulling Remus down on top of him. "Then on with the sexing!"

Maybe things would end badly, and maybe his heart would end up broken, but with Sirius's arms wrapped around him, a beautiful smile on his perfect face, Remus realized that it was worth the risk. That _Sirius_ was worth the risk, and as full, soft lips kissed him with such tenderness, Remus wondered why he ever questioned this silly thing called love.

**THE END**

**A/N: Well? I'm considering a sequel (or maybe just a one-shot follow up)—I haven't decided. Review and tell me how much you loved it, LOL.**


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